Category: What I’m Working On


 

I’ve talked a lot about what I am, and not much lately about what I do.  I’ve been treated to some pleasant news which through sheer coincidence of timing came while I’ve been fasting.

The last script that I wrote was a semi-autobiographical story about growing up as a Muslim in pre and post 9/11 America.  I didn’t and still don’t view it as the next Will Smith picture, so I only sent it to those who I thought might have an interest in the point of view I was presenting.  One of those groups were the Sundance Institute, and I learned about a week ago they liked what I’ve pitched enough that they want to see more.  Very flattering.  Even my folks back home who know nothing about the Biz recognize that brand name (‘the thing in Utah’ as my father put it), so potentially down the line, that could be a game changer.

Right now it’s just an opportunity so I only gave myself a little time to ‘daydream’ on what could be.  What I write in this space on the subject matter is a reflection of my outlook on the world, but if you keep up with me at all, you know when I put on ‘a show’, I’ll give you a show.  The story I wrote is not an in your face political statement like some of Spike’s films. Even with the subject matter, it’s not a redemption story like a lot of Tyler’s movies. The comment I’ve heard the most from people who’ve read the script is “I was surprised at how funny this is,”; in other words it’s an extension of my strong suits as a storyteller, the self deprecating clown, the sarcastic geek, the hopeless romantic (think Lady In My Life).

So I completed another pass of the script this weekend, and we’ll see what happens at the end of the year.  Through the circles I run in, I know I’m not the only film school geek in the mix, nor am I the only Muslim filmmaker they’re looking at.  Nothing is a done deal, but they’re getting my best effort so if I’m meant to go down that road, I will. For the time being, I’ll return my focus to what I can control this week and this month, and hopefully get another pleasant surprise down the line.

 

At the midpoint of Ramadan, time for a little reflection.

Russell Simmons is one of the more famous faces who has lent his name to the cause:

When I started my own series of essays on the subject, I will say it was refreshing to know of the many non-Muslim Americans who rejected the idea of scapegoating an entire community based on the actions of a few.  If you’ve read Volumes I and II of this series, you’re aware of how important I feel it is to build alliances based on our common goals.

That being said…

One of the first things every boy learns on the playground is you want respect, you have to stand up for yourself.  It’s good for your reputation to have other people vouch for you, but sooner or later, the spotlight will be on you whether you want it or not.  You put your fists up, and then?

One of the ‘second’ things every boy learns on the playground is you’re just not going to win every fight.  Sometimes you’re outnumbered, you just cover your face and take your beatdown like a man.  Sometimes you’re outmatched, and as they say, if you have to go down, you go down swinging.  Not having to win every fight is part of the Game, especially when you enter the world of adult relationships.

Again, that being said…

What if the fight is a fight for survival?  What if you feel a core part of your identity is being threatened?  What if the person you’re fighting wants you not just to go down, but to stay down and never get back up?

There’s an analogy I picked up in film school; it actually works quite well on a larger scale as well so I’ll share it here.  Think of the Game as if it were a war, with two fairly equal sides fighting for power.  History teaches us that in every war, both sides will have their moments. (A one sided war of course, is a massacre.)  Strategically, you have to gain the ability to look at the big picture, gauge where the momentum is going, and ‘pick your spots’.  We’ve already covered the foolishness of trying to win every fight; but knowing ahead of time the 2 or 3 things that you won’t compromise makes it easier to idenify what you’re willing to negotiate on, and what you will gladly sacrifice if someone really wants to fight you for it.

I’ve covered some (but not all) of the reasons I metaphorically put my fists up a couple weeks ago.  As I stated, I appreciate the efforts of Mr. Simmons, but what really strengthens my resolve is other members from within the community who like myself have reached their ‘Enough’ point, and who use their own platforms, whether it be as artists or bloggers or politicians or just ‘Average Joe’ citizens, and do what they can to paint the community in a more diverse light.  Everyone isn’t meant to stand on the frontlines of a battlefield, but as the saying goes, ‘All the world’s a stage’.  Like others, I am playing one of my many parts.

 

So…who are we?

We’ve been here since the beginning of this country.  We’ve been diplomats and ambassadors, industrialists and slaves.

We’ve been illiterate and uneducated, and we’ve written some of the defining essays and books of the American experience.

Our background has made us as a community some of the most conservative members of this society, and at the same time some of its most well known social revolutionaries.

You know many of us best as some of the greatest athletes this country has ever produced.  The NBA’s all time leading scorer, the most feared boxer of the 1980s, and one man who was simply known as, well, ‘the Greatest’.

You know some of us best through our works as some of this country’s greatest entertainers.  You can’t talk about the ‘Golden Age of Hip Hop’ without talking about a number of groups, DJs, and MCs who all belong to this community.  One of the best known comedians of the modern era is one of us; he never said it out loud, but his reclusive lifestyle away from his Show probably gave a loud hint that he wasn’t all about the money.

We’re apathetic citizens who no longer have faith in any aspect of ‘the System’, and we’re Representatives in the United States Congress.  Representatives who were driven to tears having to defend a common sense reality in the face of a political lynch mob.  It’s sad it had to come to that but it gives us pride that there are already those in D.C. who understand where we come from.

We’re mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, teachers and students.  Some of us were born here and have lived here our entire lives.  Some of us are 2nd generation citizens blending our religious culture with our new homeland.  Some of us are 1st generation, who came here like nearly every other immigrant who has ever come here, for the opportunity to live a life of freedom and to pursue the American Dream.

Because that’s who we are.  Americans. Muslim Americans.

So my post from the beginning of the week, ‘American Muslim, Volume I,’ got a lot of praise (thank you if I haven’t thanked you privately) and caught a lot of eyeballs.  Among those eyeballs were the group ‘My Fellow Americans,’ whose goals run parallel to mine:

Their website is http://myfellowamerican.us , I encourage you to check them out.

And yes, I’m working on ‘Volume II’ to publish to start next week.  Have a good weekend.

 

In my opinion, some people have been put on this Earth to drive people apart and to pull others down into their insecurities and misery.  I, on the other hand, feel that I’ve been put on this Earth to remind others of the connections between us.  Conflicts are inevitable, but ultimately, in between our disagreements, we have to co-exist peacefully.

So that first paragraph lets you know, this post is more intellectual than normal.  So fair warning to those of you who normally come to this space for silly/charming/smartass/’Bruce Wayne’; I’ve saved most of that energy for Volume II. No offense taken if you want to skip ahead to the jokes, it’s one of things I enjoy most and do best.  But this is about the foundation of my house; my ideology and philosophy, why I am and why I do what I do.

This year I celebrated my birthday in Vegas; a month later I flew home to Kansas City.  Same airline.  As fate would have it, same skycap attendant for both flights.  A brother, he recoginzed me immediately the second time (which I was kind of flattered by when you think of how many people pass through LAX daily).

Anyway, here’s the conversation:

Skycap: ‘My man! How was Vegas?’

Me: Vegas always treat me well brotha!

Skycap: ‘So what’s up, the Lakers gonna threepeat?”

Me: I hope so!

(He looks at my driver’s license.)

Skycap: Oh… Um… one second my man!

(He does the 10 foot Walk of Shame to the Feds, who runs my permanent record and finds out I’m a natural born U.S. citizen who’s never been arrested, who has voted in every presidential election since I was 18 years old, and hold down a steady 9 to 5 job.  He does a second Walk of Shame back to me with my boarding pass and a shit eating grin on his face…)

Skycap: Yeah man, you know, just doing my job!

Me: I understand, I understand.  So, you know as soon as we’re in the air, I’m jumping out of my seat and screaming ‘Allahu Akbar!’ at the top of my lungs right?

(OK, OK, I didn’t really say that last line; I’m not suicidal.  Had to throw a little sarcasm in there; I can turn it down but not off.  Back on point…)

Way back when sticking my head in a book was my outlet into a world beyond I knew, I took an early interest in American History.  It started of course with the story of my ancestors.  My roots on both sides are in the rural sections of Louisiana.  In other words, I learned as much with my eyes as I did in any book.  I recall with a chuckle my father and uncles pointing out to me the trees they picked pecans from as boys; as a kid I just smiled, but in my teenage years it occurred to me these tours always stopped before we got to ‘the Big House’.  (It didn’t take a genius to surmise that while our family name is linked to one of the biggest Creole families in the area, to this day I doubt anyone on ‘my’ side of the family has spent any time in the ‘Big House’.)

As I studied, my natural curiosity led me to wonder if there had been any similar stories in American history.  The Black Experience (in America) is unique in many ways, least of which is the physical/karmic violence that God forbid will never be repeated.  But as I looked for a common thread, I learned that, truth be told, it’s practically ‘Standard Operating Procedure’  for U.S. citizens at some point to be told “Yeah you were born here, but that ‘freedom and justice for all’ line doesn’t apply to you.’  A few examples that immediately come to mind…

We refer to Native Americans as such in part because they were living their lives here before there was an actual ‘United States of America.’  Of course, the reason there is a U.S. of A. is because the United States Army was created to fight the British. And as far as Native Americans are concerned…

During America’s immigration boon, the first generations of the Italians and the Irish immigrated to this country and had to jump through the imaginary ‘You’re not really an American’ hoops.  Africans, um, ‘immigrated’ here in mass numbers and…yep.  Leap forward a century or two and Japanese-Americans got the ‘royal treatment’ after Pearl Harbor.

Now you may argue I’m pulling the race card left and right, but historically race is always the easiest to point out because, well, you can literally see it. There have been plenty of other ‘Scarlet Letters’ in the history of this country.  The most well known is probably Senator McCarthy and the Communist hearings of the 50s.  If we’re expanding this analogy to legal battles, lest we forget women in America didn’t always have the right to vote; that had to be won.  In present day there’s the ongoing battle by gay couples to have their unions legally recognized as marriages.  Those who dislike America or consider themselves ‘Enemies of the State’ will use any or all of these examples (and more) as to why this country is fundamentally flawed.  We shout democracy at the top of our lungs here and around the world, and at the same time will sanction, sometimes officially, that our own citizens can’t have equal rights.  Truthfully, I can’t say that argument is flat out wrong; I just choose a different perspective…

While it’s true America’s history in dealing with its own citizens is ‘checkered’, it’s also true that in nearly every circumstance some level of progress was made. (We can debate the definition of ‘progress’ another time.)  The analogy I often use, as it’s an analogy I’m familiar with, is that of a pledging process.  You walk in the first day, you’re nobody, and you’re told and made to feel like you’re nothing. During the process, you stand your ground and learn ‘the rules of the game’. Eventually the process is complete, and you come out of the other end a member.

(If you really want to extend the analogy, it would be interesting to study who becomes ‘the One whose identity completely became the new group’, ‘the One who focuses on the history and getting ‘the next guy’ through the process’, and ‘the One who became an asshole who can’t wait to take out their anger and frustrations on the next guy’.  Again, another time.)

When you define yourself as an idealist (as I do), you know going in that the change you seek in the world can’t be measured by ‘tangible’ results.  Let’s say hypothetically my goal was for a law to get passed.  A law can create an opportunity that didn’t exist before; it can force us to share a classroom or a workspace.  But it can’t change human nature or people’s opinions.  Only time and life experience can do that.  To be honest, I’m not convinced the words I write or the way I choose to carry myself will change any individual’s mind about what they believe ‘Islam’ is, and what ‘Muslims’ are.  But if I don’t even attempt to make things easier for the next generation of Muslim Americans, then I’ve guaranteed myself failure.

One of my favorite guy jokes is ‘Man Law’; the code of being a Man and the unwritten rules of what we will and won’t do.  Man Law Number One is universally recognized: ‘Protect Your House.’  Depending on the circumstance, its meaning can be physical, verbal, or in this case spiritual.  I remember clearly a time when a Muslim woman could wear hijab, and while it was certainly ‘different’, there was nothing suspicious about it.  I remember clearly the days of when people discovered a man was a Muslim, the natural curiosity of that man’s life story stopped short of anything that suggested criminal or the ‘T word’.  I don’t believe in ‘turning back time’, but I do believe we can get to a point in the future where my children can just be ‘kids’ and will reach early adulthood before having a justified paranoia that some fringe group in this country or in another country is plotting to wipe them off the face of the earth.

So this is my foundation.  Apologies if I got preachy at the end, but it’s the state of things as I see them.  There’s a line that is being repeatedly crossed now between ‘political showboating for your supporters’ and ‘you went there because you’re not expecting anyone to react.’

Volume II (probably next week) will go more into what happens when you wake up a sleeping dog.

Ramadan Mubarak to my Muslim brothers and sisters around the world.

Peace unto my non-Muslim brothers and sisters.

Thanks for reading.

One.

Wednesday I’ll once again be sitting in as the guest host of ‘Our Town Pasadena’.  My guest will be South Pasadena resident and Union lawyer Jake White.  We’ll cover a variety of topics including the process of Union lawyers, the current Labor situation, and if the time has finally come for his Clippers to overtake my Lakers as the top team in the city. (Just kidding.)

As usual, you can watch the show live locally on AT&T U-Verse, or anywhere in the world by going to the Arroyo Channel on pasadenacommunitynetwork.com.

9 P.M. Pacific Standard Time.  Will be fun as always, tune in.  (Thanks as always, Marie.)

Apparently, it’s all over come Saturday.  I haven’t written anything here too personal in a while, but since apparently I only have 48 or so hours left, I thought I’d end it on a high note.

If there is no future, then I have to become something that’s not really in my nature, and become one of those people whose life only exists in the rear view mirror.  What do I think of when I think about my life?  A lot of random things really as I see my life flash before my eyes…

Since I never married, I take a lot of pride in usually upholding all the major ManLaws.  There’s enough females out here for all of us.  Never speak ill of your homie’s girl cause one way or another, it always gets back to her.  Never sell out another man’s private affairs under any circumstances.  If it takes a lifetime, pay back all vendettas. Your mistress and your wife shouldn’t live in the same town, let alone the same house.  (Not that I know anything about that last one, that’s just what I’ve heard. Let’s move on.)

I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve broken hearts.  If you have a soul, neither experience is very pleasant.  But it’s life.  The first woman I ever proposed to was Lauryn Hill (true story).  The look she gave me on that particular night could have cut glass, but evidently she didn’t remember it because when I had an actual conversation with her a couple years later, she couldn’t have been nicer.  She was the first ‘star’ I met, so it framed my expectations of celebrity.  In my experiences, generally celebrities are pretty down to earth, it’s the ‘Entourages’ that are complete intolerable.

It’s an understatement to say I was an ‘anomaly’ as a black Muslim kid in Kansas who wasn’t desperate to get married at 21 years old (or now either, but that’s neither here nor there). I very much had a ‘Bachelor’s’ Bucket List: New Years Eve in Vegas, the Bayou Classic in New Orleans (pre-Katrina), South Beach Spring Break, Nationals for my Fraternity, Hollywood movie premiere party, D.C. and the GoGo scene, ATL and Buckhead and Club 112 and the Blue Flame. And I did it all, before I hit 30 if memory serves me correctly.  At this point, my reputation as ‘Hollywood’ is much bigger than the reality, but I accept how hard reputations are to shake.  Certain stories (my first earthquake and the night I threatened to beat up my best friend immediately come to mind) will never be forgotten.  But you know, if you can’t stand the heat…

I’ve headlined short films and reality shows, I’ve seen my jokes and suggestions appear in Hollywood movies and TV shows (they weren’t stolen, I gave them away), I’ve gone back to my hometown to watch films I’ve directed shown on the big screen.  And I thought I was done writing, but I did have one more story in me, one I wrote for my Ummah.  Doesn’t look like there’s enough time to see it through, but I was/am very proud of it.  It’s slowly being seen by those who need to see it, but if there is a Sunday, maybe I’ll talk about it then.  Or knowing me maybe I won’t.

Live for today, plan for tomorrow.  It’s worked out pretty well for me. Now let’s see what comes next…

 

I’ve got some more information about the screening of ‘Lady In My Life’ at the KC Filmfest:

For those interested in attending, it will be part of the ‘Mixed Bag’ group of shorts shown Saturday, April 9th at the AMC Mainstreet.  The screening times run from 10 to 11:30 P.M., so you can see the film and go straight to the club!  (Kidding…)

The full festival progam is available at kcfilmfest.org.  Check it out, it looks like it will be a great weekend for indie film lovers.

34

Looking at my ‘to do’ list…

1. Not as young as I used to be, so working on something that I hope will make things easier for the next generation of Muslim-Americans.  I haven’t had it so bad really, but it seems like things are moving in the wrong direction, so…I’ll do what I can.

2. Turning my oldest idea into a spec.  I think my life experience and my craft have caught up to the point where it can actually be…good. Time will tell.

3. Learning a musical instrument.  It’s been a long minute since I’ve even tried, but going from the ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ phase to ‘seeing the result of continuous practice’ phase has been gratifying.  Again, will I ever be good?  Doubtful, but at this point hopefully good enough to not look like a complete amateur.

4. Love?  Hmm, I’m seeing a theme here.  Didn’t really know what I want, tried a lot of things, now I feel like I’ll know it when I see it.  Could be worse.

All things considered, I feel like I’m peaking in all phases.  Thanks for being part of the ride.

1 Down…

I didn’t really give myself any New Year’s resolutions, but this has been my most productive month in a couple years (at least).  Nothing is done so to speak, but everything is in motion.  Going all the way back to my childhood, I’ve always been a ‘big picture’ type, but the flaw in that mindset is thinking about everything that needs to be done to fill that picture.  So I came into this year, asking one question.  From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, I’m doing a better job asking: what did you do today?

Part of being in motion has meant ending a relationship.  That is never fun of course, but beyond the hurt feelings both sides are happier (so it was time).  I’ve entered the frustrating/exciting part of my life in that sense.  My Captain phrased it perfectly, but since what he said is completely unprintable, I’ll paraphrase: it’s frustrating when things don’t work out the way you like, but it’s exciting to feel God has something even better planned for you.  I’ve got enough on my plate right now though, so that will happen whenever it’s meant to happen.

One month down, 11 to go.  Let’s see if there’s anything that might catch my interest in the next 4 weeks. The Super Bowl, NBA All-Star Weekend in Los Angeles, the Oscars, Black History Month, TV stuff from friends of mine.  And that doesn’t include all the good and bad things that life will throw my way because…that’s life.  One thing at a time though, one day at a time.

What did you do today?

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