Today was one of those days I was damn near frustrated to tears.  I woke up knowing I would settle a personal matter in the afternoon…and it went stunningly downhill from there.  Within a 45 minute time span, the personal affair imploded in my face, my car starting squealing as I drove it (and when is that ever a good sign), I lost someone I trusted professionally (through not fault of my own, things happen), I got jacked for $5 by a shady gas station attendant (the fact that I spent 5 minutes arguing with someone with a gold tooth would have sent me through the roof without the avalanche of negativity I was already dealing with), and I come home and catch an attitude from somebody because I wouldn’t get drawn into a beef they had with our super.  I knew before I locked my door tonight there was absolutely no chance I was walking back out until tomorrow morning.  I was somehow literally attracting drama for an hour straight.

For a brief period of time, I felt like I was a teenager again; not wanting to take my frustrations out on anybody else, but just needing an ear to vent to.  Somewhere between now and then, I picked up on the fact that the first step toward calming myself down was…thinking that I wanted to calm myself down.  So I did my Obi-Wan thing: deep exhales, prayer, meditation.  Felt a little better.  Then I picked up the phone.  Called one of my Aces.  Not even to vent really; I just know he’s one of those people who gets a kick out of seeing or hearing about it when I get so ticked off I do go into Eff You Mode (which is intentionally hard to get me to do, but I am human).  As expected, he fell out laughing and soon had me laughing at the incompetence that had me so ticked off in the first place.  One more phone call to the Mechanic to get his take on what I think is going on with my ride.  He made the same assessment I made; the hardest part is still to come.  The final assessment for me personally, and this is why I’m so much better with my anger now, is that yeah things are going to suck for a little while longer, but I’m not going to physically die.  Suck it up, know people have my back, and deal with it.

Now only a few hours removed, it’s like all that BS never happened.  I know some people think it’s one of my stronger attributes; some people who knew me as a kid can’t believe I’m not the walking, stomping hothead I used to be.  Again, I’m human; the bigger issues you never forget and you don’t consciously walk into a bad situation.  But I don’t like being angry, never did.  Never in a million years did I have plans to be that old angry bitter dude nobody likes to hang around.   Mad life didn’t turn out the way he planned for it to turn out.  Ironically, I know a LOT of people who seem to have turned out like that, in my age bracket (early 30s).  Life is so ironic at times.

But tomorrow is another day.  Smile.  Happy Friday!