The last shoot I worked on was a personal milestone; I’ll talk more about the finished product when it’s ready to go on air.  I knew when I got that particular role what it meant to my personal growth, when I got the call sheet the night before I let out an audible ‘whoa’ Keanu Reeves would have been proud of.  As a, well, fan of television and film, I recognized more than a few names working on the project.  So I went to the set even more aware of the steps I was taking…

I’m a professional but as I stood off camera waiting for the director to say ‘Action’ on the first take, I was still aware of a little bit of nerves running through me.  There’s only 20 people in the crew, but as you get the chance to work on higher profile projects, the truth of putting yourself out there in front of hundreds, thousands, potentially millions on the AAA projects; that reality flashes through your mind.  For some, that is the ‘why’; for guys like me, that’s a byproduct of the why (a good or successful project).

I was rehearsed, I knew my lines, I knew my blocking.  The last ‘voice’ I heard in my head said this: ‘If this is really what you want, if this is really the direction you’re going in…it’s time to leave the humility in the dressing room, and let the self confidence shine in a more obvious way.’

The director said ‘Action!’, and as one of my aces now calls me, ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ entered the spotlight:

Silliness aside, this episode has become a perfect microcosm of where I’m at.  One day a week (usually Friday), I’m frankly amazed, humbled, honored, sometimes I’m honestly in disbelief that for the infinite number of mistakes I’ve made, I’m perched on the doorstep of everything I ever wanted, and a LOT more.  I’ve been fairly transparent about my most self-destructive phases, but Batman jokes aside, even in my darkest moments, it seems I’m not meant to be someone who stays in darkness any longer than I need to be.

The other six days a week, there’s one word that runs through my head on a constant loop: CLOSE.  You can touch it, taste it, feel it, smell it, but only in small doses.  It’s time to tie everything together, turn all the loose ends into one really, beautiful narrative.

So if you see me walking around this summer with my red pimp shirt unbuttoned to the navel with my Aviators shined extra glossy, you know why:

On that note, wishing all of you a happy and productive week as well!