Tag Archive: bill clinton


 

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Most of you were correct in your assumption of where I stood this year, and I can’t imagine anyone who is politically aware being undecided one way or another at this point, so I’ll try to keep this short.

I’ll go ahead and say his name now.  Given several opportunities to walk back his insulting comments to the Muslim community as a whole, Trump keeps doubling down (and going after the Khan family he seems to be tripling down) on the Islamophobia.  I’m past anger or resentment; I’m not ignoring that he’s giving voice to what his base thinks and feels.  I have reached that fatigue point where I don’t need to see, hear or step foot in any building with his name on it ever again.  Who else gets away with insulting the parents of a soldier who died for this country?  The word that comes to mind that describes this whole charade is ‘privilege’.  Let’s leave it at that for now.

Cynical as I’ve become over the years, the Democratic Convention last week was an ‘event.’  It’s already been lost in the shuffle, but you have Kareem Abdul-Jabbar out here cracking jokes?!?  Am I taking crazy pills?!?

Seriously, going in most of us looked at that lineup of speakers and figured Hillary on her best day would still be third (behind the two former Presidents).  Depending on who you felt personally attached to, she might have been seventh (Khan, Biden, Bill, both Obamas, Bernie).  And saying that, I still think she gave the best and most presidential speech I’ve personally ever heard her give.

Whether your problems with Hillary are valid (DNC corruption, Clinton fatigue) or invalid (you’re uncomfortable with the idea of any woman being the leader of the free world), this election she’s the better choice.  For the third presidential election in a row, there is a historical precedent in play, but somewhat unbelievably, the gap that separates the better major party choice is infinitely wider this year than it was in 2008 and 2012.

#ImWithHer

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B-man,

What up?  So kudos to you first for taking on the job on such short notice.  You’ve got the pedigree the Academy likes, and at this point, I don’t think anyone has any expectations for next year’s show.

So having said that, I think this year is the perfect opportunity to do something drastic. And by being drastic, I mean give the hosting duties to me.  I’ve thought this through and I will give you my reasons why I’m the perfect host this year…

1. I like damn good in a tux.

I mean seriously, look at me!

2. I’ve been doing Oscar preview/live blogs for the past five years.

Going back to our film school days (maybe earlier), my partner in crime and I have used the interwebs to offer predictions and last year running commentary on the show, so it’s not like I won’t be watching anyway.

https://malikaziz.com/2011/02/27/2011-artfradieu-oscar-live-commentary/

3. I’m cool with ‘this’ Establishment.

My generation of young actors, writers, directors, producers, etc. are coming up so you’d get to keep that ‘we’re still hip’ vibe that Eddie and Brett were giving you.

4. I keep my private affairs to myself.

So no talk from me about my gigantic balls or what 70s group my genitalia are named after.  But having said that…

5. I’m down for a little bad publicity.

But only on a short term basis, and only if we’re clear the endgame is to drive more eyeballs to the show. I’m single, Kim Kardashian is single; I’m just saying…

6. I’m a genuine film geek.

I have the respect for ‘Old Hollywood’ that I think is mandatory for the job.  And in my particular case I know the history of those who came before me, from Sammy to Whoopi to Chris, and the historical part of that turns me on. And it’s going to be a little weird if Viola Davis is the only black person in the Kodak Theatre.

7. I’ve been vocal about my support for gay marriage.

So you’d be getting someone who’s gone in the complete opposite direction from the little fiasco that got the last guy fired.

8. I’m an award winning producer/director/actor who has hosting experience.

And my writing team works cheap to boot!  Here’s a joke I was just handed:  “So this Herman Cain fella? This week one of his accusers says that he grabbed the back of her neck and said ‘You want the job right?’ during her sexual assault.  When asked for comment, former President Clinton said, ‘I like a blow job as much as the next man, but if that’s your modus operandi, you are NOT qualified to be the President of the United States!”

(Hm, you’re right. That’s more of a Golden Globes joke, than an Oscars joke isn’t it?  I’ll fire that writer.  Let’s table that one for now…)

9. It’d be a Full Circle/Small Town Moment

One of the first gigs I ever had in this town was working for Imagine Entertainment as a researcher for your Hugh Hefner project.  You paid me to go to the Playboy Mansion everyday, so really, as a man, I’m already in your debt.  There’s a lot of jokes there, but I’m saving them for the monologue.  And finally…

10. I’d Genuinely Be Happy to Have the Gig

And that should mean something right?