At different times, I’ve had close friends ask me what I thought of the women who would become their wives.  My response has usually been something like this: “She’s cool with me.  But in the end, it’s you who’s going to be going home to her everyday, it’s you who’s going to be waking up next to her every morning.  If I thought she was bringing you down of course I would tell you, but really what I think shouldn’t matter as much as what you think.”

That may come off as cold to some people, but I can tell you the reason I live by that philosophy.  Tell me if this sounds familiar: treat others the way you want to be treated.  The only thing I’ve protected as hard as I’ve protected my career is my private life.  I chose very early on this path where I put my face, my name, my words in front of the world (and this was years before any of us had ever heard of the Internet!)  I’m not naive; I know people talk.  I’m not a recluse, people see me out and about in L.A. and it is what it is.  But that doesn’t change that there is a very clear line between the part of ‘Malik Aziz’ that’s meant for everybody, and a part of Malik Aziz that is very clearly mine.

One more backstory.  The 2004 Presidential election.  After Bush beat Kerry, some old college friends and I just chatted back and forth about why Bush won.  Over the course of the conversation, I was shocked at how many of my non-Republican friends voted for Bush.  When we asked why, the issue that came out of almost all their mouths was gay marriage.  So when Prop 8 failed earlier this month, I have to admit I was stunned.  But not shocked.  I watched the exact same thing happen on a national level four years ago.

If you have any doubt, I voted no on Prop 8.  As this fight continues, it’s interesting to watch the battle lines drawn.  The gay community seems to have awakened to the level of bigotry and opposition they’re up against.  Now we have a liberal president and Congress, and a clearly fed up minority community.  I’m not trying to compare their struggle to the Civil Rights movement.  For me, there is nothing in American history (and few things ever) that can compare to the story of African-Americans. 

That said though, if you know your history, you know many of the signposts of that movement were not the ‘victories’; they were the sit-ins, the bus boycotts, the moments where collectively we said  ENOUGH.

So it’s entirely possible that in the long run, the passing of Prop 8 could be one of the best things to happen to the gay community’s struggle for equal rights.  I don’t have the answer to that question.  No one does; it’s way too early to call it.

But I guess we’ll see.