This is one of those times when I’ve been struck deaf.  It’s impossible…it’s impossible for me to address my love of music, my love of show business, the way I designed my image…hell, go ahead right now and type in his name in the Search button to the right and see how many times he’s come up in this less than a year old blog.

I’ve shaken hands with Spike, I told Magic how much he meant to me, but Mike was the one in the Holy Trinity of my childhood idols I never had the opportunity to cross paths with.  My eyes got moist when I first got word, my eyes got moist when ‘Lady in My Life’ came on the radio, and I’m full on crying as I type this.  He hasn’t been gone four hours yet, and all my closest friends have either texted or called (so I guess my fandom is well known).  I want to throw on my favorite song of all time (Human Nature) but I know I’m not ready yet.  Truly, there’s only one person who I think I’ll feel comfortable expressing all the different levels that song touched me.  And I don’t think I’ve met her yet. 

I think we can all agree that Mike was too weird for his own good.  Was it because of his relationship with his father?  Because he got famous way too young?  Because he reached the extremely rare point of fame where absolutely nobody says no to you?  In all likelihood was it a combination of all three?  I don’t think it matters right now.  The mandatory jokes have already resurfaced.  That was expected.  There’s already an entire generation whose first thoughts of him are the trials and the plastic surgery, and not the still INCREDIBLE catalog of pop music he created.  Even if he brought that damage on himself, it’s still very sad.

If I never make another film, there’s now something satisfying for me personally in that I can look at ‘Lady In My Life’ and feel I’ve paid proper tribute in my own artform to the tremendous impact he had on me.  If you haven’t seen it, I promise it will be online soon.  Possibly real soon the way I’m feeling at the moment. 

Thank you Michael Jackson, for putting the thought in my 5 year old head that an extremely shy and soft spoken black kid from the Midwest could find himself through art. I’m praying that you’ll find the peace of mind and happiness in death that you never seemed to completely have in life.