The original Batcave was a basement apartment a few blocks down from Memorial Stadium.  It was the first time I lived without roommates: it was glorious!  I’m no one’s playboy, but the extra privacy and freedom loosened me up alot.  Out of the Greek life, I was content to ‘serve out my time’ before heading to either coast.

I forgot the exact circumstances, but one of my closer friends from freshmen year asked if I was down to roll out for Spring Break.  The Colonel.  Why do we call him the Colonel?  Because to this day, the Colonel is one of the most charming brothers I’ve ever met.  Even now when I sense he’s not telling me the whole story, I’ll yell at him: “Man I’m not one of your girls!  Don’t be trying to charm me, just tell me what’s up!”  The Colonel is a New Orleans native; my mother made him gumbo one holiday when he couldn’t get back home.  My family’s loved him ever since and vice versa.  If we were a wrestling stable, I was the ‘brains’ and the Colonel was the ‘muscle’.  So that leaves out what?  That’s right: the ‘clown’…

The longest running friendship I have is with a kid who grew up two houses down from me.  We rode the school bus together until I got my first car.  From that point on we were Beavis and Butthead (it was in the mid 90s, cut us some slack).  Beavis (as I still call him sometimes) if by far the funniest cat I’ve ever known.  I’m a professional storyteller, but this cat has the Gift of comedy.  Beavis is the one guy I know who could tell the story of the most humiliating moment of my life, and have me dying laughing at my own humiliation.  I’m a year older, but he’s an artist, he came to KU, he eventually pledged Alpha.  He’s very much the younger brother I always wanted.  And he was the third Musketeer in our spring break trip.

It’s a movie cliche but it’s true:  taking a trip with somebody inevitably enhances or destroys the relationship.  You’ll have inside jokes and memories that will only make sense to the people you share the experience with.  I’m not going to spend paragraphs talking about ‘Check Out Time’, Similac, ‘sippers and tippers’, Everclear, or Redman’s ‘Doc’s da Name 2000’ album.  But I’ll say a lifelong clowning session started that week.

The years after that have been filled with episodes.  Pimping out on a memorable Miami trip.  Wrestling and talking crazy in New York City (my first national TV appearance).  I don’t consider it coincidence that in two of the most infamous stories of my sexcapades, well the Musketeers weren’t in the room, but they damn sure were in the vicinity.  But that was many, many, many years ago, we’re all good boys and decent gentlemen now…

Beavis was the first of us to get married.  The Colonel and I are still looking, even though I’m a lot closer (Yeah I said it fool if you’re reading this!)  The glory days are over and all good things must come to an end.  One of my major life creeds is maximizing your life potential while minimizing the amount of stupid shyt you do.  Well these two guys (and the self proclaimed 4th Musketeer, Linus) have seen me do a LOT of stupid shyt.  To put it another way, these guys have all seen me be human.  And I love them for it.