On a superficial level, this has been one of the best years of my life.  And a month or so from now, I’ll talk about that like I always do.

Being truthful though, this year has been brutal.  The exact cause of that is not something I’m really free to discuss; as far as this post is concerned, the people who need to know, know.  And this isn’t about what caused my depressive state, this is about what brought me out of it.

I’m thankful I don’t have regrets. There are certainly things I would have handled differently in retrospect, but there’s nothing that haunts me or any giant ‘What If?” that keeps me up at night.  I’ve lived my life, I’ve made some mistakes, I’ve learned, and I’ve adjusted.  And there are times when I still feel greedy/humbled by the amount of good things I had/have/will have in life.

I’m thankful I don’t live inside of anyone else’s image of who I am. My friends yell at me when I act like some schnook honored to be in their presence, and my haters get frustrated with me when I don’t pay their criticism any mind and keep pressing forward.  I honestly can’t remember at this point who taught me that, but it’s served me well to take both praise and criticism with a grain of salt.

I’m thankful I remain grounded. Everyone says my foundation was always too solid to ever ‘lose it’, but that said, money and power changes everyone.  It just does.  Just knowing everything that was going on 10 years ago, I think I was much closer to being the pretentious, forgot where he came from, narcisstic a-hole I only act like in front of my closest friends when I want to annoy them.

I’m thankful for love and friendship. I’ve always had an independent personality.  But this year, I needed my people.  Talking to my girl about my state of mind; going to the games with the boys to be part of a crowd scene, going to the movies with my film folks to feed my soul, going to work so I could think about ‘something else’.  I can’t imagine dealing with this year, ‘alone’.  I feel like I do a decent enough job of letting the people who look out for me know that I appreciate it, but I needed it this year and they all came through (You know who you are).   I’m told everyday I’m loved, and I do my best whenever we talk to let them know I love them.

I guess even when I’m not feeling like myself, I can’t help but be positive.  Happy Thanksgiving to All!