It is a fundamental aspect of my life philosophy that we are all in the place we are meant to be in; the problems we encounter are put in our way so that we can make the decisions that shape our lives.  I’ve lived quite a charmed life: I have good relationships with both of my parents, I have all the education I will ever need, 99 times out of 100 the friendships I’ve decided to maintain have been the right friendships.  But (like most people I would imagine), there are other things that I thought I would have had at this point of my life that I don’t have yet.  So using the basic definition of the word, I have ‘problems’.

The hardest thing to do sometimes is to break routine.  From the beginning all the way up to the project we did earlier this year, I’ve always been a ‘Swiss Army knife’.  In the beginning, it was completely out of necessity, now I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t need to wear every hat to get my projects moving, but it’s what I’m used to doing.  It’s a tribute to my natural hard-headedness, but many of my friends have advised me for years to pick one role and ride it out.  Many of them, in this industry and others, have reached a level I haven’t yet because they’ve focused on making themselves one thing and stuck with it.  Writer.  Director. Architect.  Engineer.   And so forth.  Age (and what I talk about in the next paragraph) is starting to catch up to me slowly.  I haven’t lost faith in my ability to do all the various skills I’ve acquired over the years.  If anything, I’d say I’m more confident that I can multi-task.  But that said, one of my biggest self-criticisms from the last project is that it would have been even better if I swung my full attention toward being either an actor or a director, and not both simultaneously.

The other place I’m clearing out the clutter is in my personal affairs.   I’m content for the time being with my emotional maturity, but there are a lot of things I still need to do in order to provide for the family I’m working towards.  There’s the financial aspect of it, but everybody I know, whether they’re single, divorced or married for 10 years, seems to have money problems of one type or another.  I’m speaking more about ‘creating a nest’ for lack of a better term.  A friend recently called me ‘the reluctant patriarch’; I damn near had to copyright as soon as I heard it.  I’ve made no attempt to hide the fact that I have enjoyed my bachelorhood, I’ve somewhat enjoyed living the life of the ‘struggling artist’.  Now my parents are getting older, I’m reconnecting with my blood relatives all over the country (score one for the Internet), and in a practical sense, I’m thinking of where I want my life to be in 5 years, 10 years (if I have that much time left).  Making the transition from Bruce Wayne to young Vito Corleone is not an on/off switch, I assure you.  Life, I’ve come to realize, is a never-ending process. 

In the next few weeks, I hope to have a more clear picture of where this is going.  Stay tuned.