(This transcript may or may not have been taken from a meeting that happened last pilot season…)

Executive: Malik, baby!  Been too long!  What do you have for me?

Malik: I think it’s time we reboot Moonlighting.

Executive: A reboot!  I’m already halfway in!

Malik: I figured!  We bring in Minka Kelly to play the entitled former debutante role that Cybill Shepherd made famous.  Same basic story: she inherits a private detective form but knows nothing about the business.

Executive:  I likes, I likes…

Malik: I come in playing the Bruce Willis role: the blue collar guy who knows how to play the game.  Once every few episodes though, we have a ‘case’ that gives me an excuse to wear a fitted Tom Ford tuxedo.  You know, storyline wise to feed the ‘will they or won’t they?’ vibe; viewership wise to give the housewife demo their milk chocolate eye candy.

Executive: Yeah that’s it!  Zeezy, I have to tell you I’m sold, but I have to be honest: I’m not sure if the people above me are going to be all in with two leads who have never carried a television show by themselves.  Just being honest.

Malik: I understand.  Oh did I mention we have Bruno Mars doing an update of the theme song?  We’ll be putting out three different remixes: one for Pop Top 40, one for R&B radio, and one for adult contemporary.  That’s free cross promotion, AND you’ll make your money back before the pilot hits the air.

Executive: Aziz.  You son of a bitch.  You’ve done it again!  Green light!

(End scene with Malik walking off the studio lot holding two bags of cash over his head…)