(This transcript may or may not have been taken from a meeting that happened last pilot season…)
Executive: Malik, baby! Been too long! What do you have for me?
Malik: I think it’s time we reboot Moonlighting.
Executive: A reboot! I’m already halfway in!
Malik: I figured! We bring in Minka Kelly to play the entitled former debutante role that Cybill Shepherd made famous. Same basic story: she inherits a private detective form but knows nothing about the business.
Executive: I likes, I likes…
Malik: I come in playing the Bruce Willis role: the blue collar guy who knows how to play the game. Once every few episodes though, we have a ‘case’ that gives me an excuse to wear a fitted Tom Ford tuxedo. You know, storyline wise to feed the ‘will they or won’t they?’ vibe; viewership wise to give the housewife demo their milk chocolate eye candy.
Executive: Yeah that’s it! Zeezy, I have to tell you I’m sold, but I have to be honest: I’m not sure if the people above me are going to be all in with two leads who have never carried a television show by themselves. Just being honest.
Malik: I understand. Oh did I mention we have Bruno Mars doing an update of the theme song? We’ll be putting out three different remixes: one for Pop Top 40, one for R&B radio, and one for adult contemporary. That’s free cross promotion, AND you’ll make your money back before the pilot hits the air.
Executive: Aziz. You son of a bitch. You’ve done it again! Green light!
(End scene with Malik walking off the studio lot holding two bags of cash over his head…)