billiejean

Let’s enjoy this peace, for however long it lasts…

As I’ve been rolling over in my mind, not how, but why I’ve been enjoying this really long period of complete harmony in all phases of my life, the one word that comes to mind is: transparency.  When all this started, sheer necessity demanded that I protect myself and by extension, my dream at all costs.  And as life goes on, I’ve made allies, sure, but through words and through actions, you learn that not everyone is your friend.  And even among friends, there’s going to be some people who feel some kind of way if their perception of your life looks ‘better’ than their perception of their own lives.  So if you’re wise at all, it takes time and a little luck and a lot of trial and error to figure out who your closest allies are.

But eventually, everything does line up.  The homies man, it’s never ending trash talk, and jokes, and all kinds of brotherhood based on common interests in sports, or movies, or women.  And with the women, I would define all of my active relationships as ‘adult’ now: two way roads of communication and support, and on my end at least, asking myself ‘How do I keep her in my corner?’ and ‘What can I do to build on what we already have?’

So, yeah.  This is nice right?  So looking forward I naturally wondered, ‘What could mess this up?’  When I saw the Ali doc last week, I think I realized the answer to that question: I’m going to mess this up.  I know that phrasing is a little on the rough side, but let me explain:

 It’s the story of the (black) entertainer in America, but it is what it is.  As long as he was the big mouth amateur making people laugh, everybody was more or less on board.  When he became the status quo challenging, stand up for what he believed in World Heavyweight Champion, then the vultures came out with no mercy.  And let’s be clear, I’m not saying on my best day ever, I will be in the same league of Muhammad Ali.  What I am saying is that right now, sure, you may care when I feel compelled to talk religion or politics, but ‘the world’ doesn’t really know I exist.  So if I was truly serious, about making sure that I never leave my current state of nirvana, here are the things I should do:

Don’t stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people. Don’t stand in front of a camera in front of millions of people.  Stop writing and directing stories about the black experience in America.  Stop writing and directing stories that touch on religion.  If someone asks me to help out on an issue that does not directly impact heterosexual, middle class, African-American Muslim men who live in Los Angeles, turn to that person and say, ‘That’s too bad, but it’s not my problem.’  Close or at least never post on any social media sites.  For that matter, shut down malikaziz.com.

You get the picture.  In a really fucked up, sad, one sentence summary: if I am truly not willing to give away any of this peace of mind I’ve worked my whole life to have, if I want to remain almost completely critic proof, then right here, right now, I have to shut down pretty much every single thing that defines me as ‘Malik Aziz’.  And yes, if I dwell on that statement for too long, that really, really depresses me.

Of course I can’t do that, and I won’t.  I’ve never been more confident in what I believe to be the purpose of my life, and I will use all of my intelligence to analyze, all of my compassion to help the world around me, all of my creative skills to entertain, and all of my professional ambition to climb the ladder and fulfill that purpose.  I haven’t worked this hard to like the man I see when I look in the mirror every morning, to choose any other course of action.

So…let’s enjoy this peace while it lasts.

If I start naming names, I will inevitably slight someone, which is no good.  But if you’ve made it this far and you’re still reading this, then I’m going to assume you have made some type of contribution to the life of Malik Aziz, and for that I thank you.

Now, let’s have some fun, shall we?  The reason for today’s post is this is the beginning of ‘Lik Week 2014’, so with that said…

ASSEMBLE YOUR CREW AND PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR A WEEK OF MICHAEL JACKSON SONGS!!!!

[1st Verse]
Looking Out
Across The Night-Time
The City Winks A Sleepless Eye
Hear Her Voice
Shake My Window
Sweet Seducing Sighs

[2nd Verse]
Get Me Out
Into The Night-Time
Four Walls Won’t Hold Me Tonight
If This Town
Is Just An Apple
Then Let Me Take A Bite

[Chorus]
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way

[3rd Verse]
Reaching Out
To Touch A Stranger
Electric Eyes Are Ev’rywhere
See That Girl
She Knows I’m Watching
She Likes The Way I Stare

[Chorus]
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
I Like Livin’ This Way
I Like Lovin’ This Way

[4th Verse]
Looking Out
Across The Morning
The City’s Heart Begins To Beat
Reaching Out
I Touch Her Shoulder
I’m Dreaming Of The Street

[Chorus]
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
If They Say –
Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Way
I Like Livin’ This Way
[Repeat Chorus – Ad-Lib/Fade-Out]

Advertisements